Rotten Brats changed my life. The top picture is me after my second day at the academy. The black eye wasn't even the worst of it, I had three cracked ribs that still ache when the weather changes. 
Luckily for me they had an on-site trainer, appropriately named Sven. He helped me get ripped beyond my wildest dreams. Yeah, that guy posing on the beach in the second picture, that's me three years later. The schmucks don't pick on my anymore and you should see how the ladies look at me. You better believe it. Want more info? Hit me up on my cell (414) 555-3675.
- Vic

The staff at Rotten Brats are, by any measure, the best around.
-Anonymous